After the death of Lillian Dedjoe, many women who have been in abusive marriages voiced out their experiences.one of the many women was Rasheeda Adams the ex wife of Politician Ras Mubarak.
According to her She was abused. She was fortunate enough to leave whiles she was still alive. She wrote,
“Leave leave leave” but when I left and told my story,
-I was called names you wouldn’t believe
-Foot-soldiers were dispatched to insult me from dawn to dusk
-No one was willing to help in any way because they were “afraid people will say they’re encouraging me to divorce”
-The courts frustrated me
-The state protected him(MPs have more important things to do than go to court🙄)
-My abuser still had access to me because of kids and frustrated me to no end.
-I was Denied child support for a long time because I was told if my children and I starved long enough we would return.
-My own sister, gave me her apartment and collected the rent in full and even harassed me for the money, never mind that I was struggling with two kids on my own. My own family member .
-Everyone called me a drama queen; I was leaving a whole MP “because of a few slaps”?, they said I was overreacting. (It wasn’t a few slaps, it was full scale beatings for years)
-I Spent Many a sleepless night figuring out how to build up my life back to what it was before things got derailed, while nursing a 3 month old and looking after a 3 yr old.
-All those days showing up at meetings with my sleeping child in a car seat 🤦🏽♀️
It was tough as nails, tough as fucking nails, I won’t lie to you, but it also opened a portal to a strength and resolve I never knew I had.
You will realize very quickly, that The people you thought would always be there for you, won’t.
-That you’re basically on your own in this world
-That no amount of help is coming from any quarter to reset your life for you.
-That most of the people who seem like they want to help, just want to come and clean out the small remaining flesh hanging on your carcass and may not mean you well.
Now here we are, better than we’ve ever been, more comfortable that we’ve ever been. Life is 10 times better for my children and I. My smile is back, my glow is back, when I laugh, it extends into the pits of my stomach again. Life is pretty much perfect.
It wasn’t easy though. It took so much work, and my bones still ache from the amount of labor on my plate each day. I work and I look after my kids, surrounded by love, and that’s all a soul needs, to be it at it’s peaceful best.
So when I say leave that abusive man you’re married to and you’ll be fine, I don’t say it to trivialize your pain. I say it because I know you can do it. I just need you to believe it too.